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Joke of the Day

"I called the rape advice hotline... ...Turns out it's only for victims. Edit:: Guys relax! Its JUST A JOKE."

"A Jewish boy asks his father: ""Father, can I please borrow 50 dollars?"" The father replies: ""40 dollars! What on earth do you need 30 dollars for!?"""

"How do Germans tie their shoelaces? In little knotsies...."

"I know she wanted to be cremated, and I know she didn't want a formal funeral... ...But was a ""Family Barbecue"" really the best idea?"

"What did one computer CPU say to the other after getting hit? Ow! That megahertz!"

"I'm suffering from a more rare kind of stomach ache. It's called Indiegestion, I doubt you've heard of it before."

"Is my iPhone named Freedom? Yes Do I never pick up phone calls on it? Also yes, because as an American, I let freedom ring"

"Searching for stuff on the internet when you're drunk is called Beer Googles."

"Thank you, slow walking family in front of me on the footpath, No please, take your time.... and definitely spread out, so you create a barricade of idiots."

"What doesn't belong in this group, A lobster, an octopus, a crab, or a chinese man under a bus? The octopus, obviously, the three others are crustaceans."