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Joke of the Day

"What did Donald Trump say to the guy who immolated himself in front of Trump tower? ""You're fired!"""

"A child's purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals."

"Most of adulthood is getting upset over not being invited to things that you wouldn't have gone to even if you were invited"

"They say diarrhoea is hereditary... It runs in your jeans"

"What do you call a person that tells jokes to ghosts? A comedium."

"I said, should we go to my place? She said, ""Come to my house tomorrow, no ones gonna be home. "" I went to her house. No one was there."

"[to astronaut brother] Ooooh la la Gary's going to SPACE *does jerkoff motion* I'll be here on EARTH where my pizza & tv won't FLOAT AWAY"

"How did Charles Darwin die? Natural causes."

"What kinds of guns do T-Rex's prefer? ...mainly SMALL ARMS."

"How many reddit admins does it take to screw in a light bulb Ill let you know once they get back to me"