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Joke of the Day

"A recent study of blue-collar workers showed that what they love best about their jobs is their days off."

"Kids, no one will ever understand you like your high school love. Get pregnant and marry them right away. You know better than everyone."

"I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone."

"Paralympics Q: What's better than winning the Paralympics? A: Having legs!"

"There is no ""I"" in TEAM. But there is MEAT. Delicious meat."

"my doctor told me to watch my drinking and so i bought some mirrors"

"I took a bus in Thailand And I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl. All I could think to myself was, ""Don't get an erection, don't get an erection""... but she did."

"What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist? Someone who shows up to your door for no reason."

"Alzheimer Joke (Not sure if repost.)"

"I've been dumped by my girlfriend... She found me creepy as I always had to have a name for my penis, oh well, guess I'll have to take Matters into my own hands now."