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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don't think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me."

"A bear walks into a bar the bartender said ""What would you like?"" and the bear said ""I want... a beer please"" then the bartender said ""Why the big paws??"""

"What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference? System of a Downs My Chemical Imbalance. Youth In Asia"

"What time is it when 10 elephants are chasing you? 10 after 1"

"What's another name for a prosthetic patella? Faux-knee"

"What do Paul Walker and Pink Flyod have in common? Their last hit was the wall"

"What do you call the foreskin on a gay guy..? Mud flaps"

"My girlfriend was really excited about sex but said we couldn't because she was on her period... .. I turned back and declared ""The only thing a period stops is a sentence."""

"When does a boy scout become a man? When he eats his first brownie!"

"Why was the woman so attached to her Dr. Scholl's gel insert? [OC] It was her sole comfort."