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Joke of the Day

"MAYOR'S TIP: before you spend 20 minutes blowing an air mattress, make sure it's really an air mattress, and not Gary hiding under a blanket"

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"Drugs are bad...when they wear off."
"How many homosexuals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? THREE. One to bend over, one to screw in the bulb, and one to drive the gay pride float!"
"Why did they start using liquid soaps in prisons? (if you thought because you can't drop it, guess again) Because it takes longer to pick up."
"Announcer: ""Welcome to the Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show. Are you ready to rock?!"" [crowd goes nuts] A: ""Well too bad, here's Coldplay"""
"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the color of the baby."
"What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex? The crayon is non-toxic!"
"What is the name of the new game show hosted by Katt Williams? Are You Stronger Than A 7th Grader?"
"parents just reaming ms frizzle out at a pta meeting. ""you took our kids to god damn outer space. we didnt even have to sign a form"""
"I was sitting in the traffic the other day That's why i got run over."
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