228348

Joke of the Day

"If I get married, I'd take my wife to a deserted island on our honeymoon. On our 15th anniversary, I'd return to pick her up. Maybe."

"Why aren't any atheists buying a PS4 Pro? They don't believe in higher power."

"Why do SJWs hate Apple computers? Because they're not PC"

"When not in stores Republicans shop from a catalog. Democrats watch for ""incredible TV offers"" on late night television."

"What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Hillary Clinton? A dickless bull that can't fuck its way into the white house. But who tell which is which?"

"I was so depressed dat my ATM displayed someone else's balance to cheer me up"

"LinkedIn Bans Prostitutes And Escorts! I wasn't even aware this service was available on LinkedIn. Why am I always late to the party?"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Mexican and Donald Trump wouldn't allow it to cross the border."

"""I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...Watch you smile while you're sleeping..."" Aerosmith = Romantic Me = Restraining Order"

"""My mum hung a picture of me when I was 5 on the wall."" ""Months? Years?"" ""No, seconds."""