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Joke of the Day

"I'd rather pick my nose in traffic than arrive at my destination with a crusty booger. Anyone who says different is a liar."

"What do beef hearts smell like? Honey."

"I work at a coin factory. It just makes cents to me."

"A Man Has a Heart Attack on a Plane... Stewardess: Is **anybody** here a doctor?! Man: (Raising Hand) I'm a vegan."

"Oral Misgivings Q: How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex? A: She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn."

"What do we call that one small worm that won't shut up? A chatterpillar"

"Somebody called me a free spirit today and my heart leapt as I turned back to my paperwork."

"Old enough to know better, but still too drunk to care."

"Did you hear about the lady lawyer who went to her gynecologist? The gynecologist said, "" Let's use this device to spread your vagina."" The lawyer shouts, ""I object! Calls for speculation!"" I'll go..."

"I was overcharged by a plumber! So, I've been secretly training a gorilla to roll barrels at people. Tomorrow, we're kidnapping his girl."