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Joke of the Day

"I'd rather pick my nose in traffic than arrive at my destination with a crusty booger. Anyone who says different is a liar."

"My experience at the doctor's.... So I went to the doctor's office today and he told me I had to stop jerking off. I asked why. He said ""Because I need to give you your physical."""

"I bet centaurs never know who to root for at rodeos."

"The homework is due on Monday. ""Can I get an extension?"" The homework is due on Monday.png"

"If a Lesbian ""Cock-Blocks"" another Lesbian.... is that considered a beaver dam?"

"The Three Laws of Secure Computing 1) Don't buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer don't plug it in. 3) If you do plug it in sell it and return to step 1."

"Moon Landing conspiracy theorists should be called Luna-tics Just posting here because r/showerthoughts doesn't allow puns."

"I was going to tell a joke about sodium But Na"

"""Your GPA last semester was a 4.0"" \- Steve Harvey"

"Every time I use hand sanitizer I wonder about the 0.1% of bacteria that isn't killed. What the hell kind of scary shit is that?"