228222
Joke of the Day
"Why do you never buy a woman a watch? Because there's a clock on the stove."
Next Joke
"What comes after March? April, fools!"
"The Sun doesn't need to go to college Because it already has 28 million degrees."
"I've been married a long time, but I bet first dates are still the same. Lots of awkward arguments about Reaganomics."
"Chris Rea came to my garden centre today... ...he bought a driving gnome for Christmas."
"Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence... ...because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine."
"Recently, 218 Italian MPs signed a bipartisan bill for the legalization of marijuana...[x-post from r/trees] They're basically in joint support, for *joint* support. I'll show myself out."
"Wife: Why do I have a temperature of 101.3? Me: Maybe you're pregnant? Wife: What's wrong with you? *damn you webMD, damn you."
"I like musical instruments that you blow into. They're pretty... *Breathtaking*"
"I'll never forget what my grandad said before he kicked the bucket ""Watch me kick that bucket"""