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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence... ...because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine."

"What do you call a crayon without any wax? A crayoff"

"If I am ever in a coma on life support I want my family to unplug me... And then plug me back in. See if that works."

"I'll put a comma, after a comma, even if it doesn't need a comma, to completely, drive you, insane."

"how are we gonna sell our car this year? how about a commercial where the car is driving around on roads. great work everyone time for lunch"

"My mum needs to stop using all the blenders for stew.. It's pissing me off having spicy Oreo milkshake"

"Its not pretty being easy."

"Firing Squad 2 men lined against a wall ready to be shot by a fireing squad..""have you any last requests""says the soldier...Yes says the man..can we stand behind the wall..."

"What do you call it when a vegetable suffers heart failure? A hearti*choke*. ... :D"

"Him: Are you perioding? Me: Are you deathwishing?"