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Joke of the Day

"Yes, you take my breath away... But so does a brisk walk, or the sight of an ugly baby. Don't be so flattered."

"Step 1: achieve tumescence. Step 2: figure out what tumescence is."

"I know they're awful, but... Care to share your favorite ""dead baby"" joke?"

"I've never really got the point of herbs and seasoning... I just think it's a waste of thyme."

"What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?... ....a smile and wave!"

"Do you want a bag? A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. ""Do you want a bag?"" the cashier asks. ""No,"" the guy says, ""she's not that ugly."""

"what do you call a gay dyslexic? a dyxlixic"

"""Wanna go camping?"" ""No thanks, I have a house."""

"Can't decide if I should start this laundry or fake my own death."

"How good are the showers at Auschwitz? They're to die for."