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Joke of the Day

"39 and 41 had a fight. 42. ... 41."

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"Ph.D students should not eat apples... Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
"Sexual predators are never funny Unless Lena Dunham writes about being one."
"Finally figured out why even smart people fall for click bait..."
"What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse ? The Codfather !"
"A woman calls the police claiming a one armed man is trying to kill her... They say to her ""don't worry about him mam, he's hARMLESS."""
"Real women have curves!!! Real women have spirals!!! Real women are plump and covered in a creamy sauce wait nope thinkin of pasta"
"I like my women like I like my wine. Twelve years old and locked in a cellar."
"Did you hear Vladimir Putin made a travel sized Russia? It is the perfect country to Putin your pocket."
"ONLY text me in an emergency. Like my car's shooting flames from the trunk, one of my exes dies eventfully, or if someone thinks I'm sexy."