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Joke of the Day

"I was once slapped in the face by a girl with twelve nipples... (.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.) Sounds weird, dozen tit?"

"I bought a tiny chili pepper plant today. I wanted to spice up my apartment."

"QUESTIONS YOU CAN ANSWER BY PEEING ON THINGS: 1. Am I pregnant? 2. Does my boss have a very forgiving nature?"

"If the bird of peace if the dove, what's the bird of love? The swallow."

"Me on the Phone: I'm going to ""work"" from home today. My Boss: I heard those air quotes."

"Having sex with you is like playing hide and seek After the first 60 seconds you yell ""ready or not, here I come!"""

"Why is it easy to talk to people who earn little pay? Because they make cents!"

"I'm a Jack of all trades But a master of pun."

"I was told I couldn't change religion because I wasn't circumcised .. Guess I'm just not cut out to be a Jew."

"What did the rednecks do for thanksgiving? Pump kin pie. Happy Canadian Turkeyday, you sick bastards!"