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Joke of the Day

"The banana asked the vibrator... The banana asked the Vibrator ""Why are *you* shaking, shes going to *eat* me!"""

"I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, ""I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do..."" Then I said, ""Turn left."""

"post and comment hey nice jokes"

"I'm sitting in a bar, minding my own business, when a guy yells in my ear, ""I'm gonna fuck your mother!"" I turn around and say, ""go home dad, you're drunk again."""

"Over 400 billion people a year are victims of exaggerated statistics."

"There's only one thing I hate more than outdated references and racism... ....The ""I have a Dream"" speech."

"Having a child with down syndrome really is the best deal. You buy 46 chromosomes, and get one free."

"What's the only animal with a cunt on its back? A police horse."

"""Hello, 911"" Hi it's Mickey my dog is hurt bad ""Is it Goofy or Pluto?"" I don't see how- ""Goofy or Pluto?"" Pluto ""Call a vet"" *hangs up*"

"Sometimes I'll send a tweet, notice a typo in it, delete it, re-send it, notice a different typo, unplug computer, change my name and move."