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Joke of the Day

"I saw a man the other day arguing with a traffic sign The sign looked incredibly uncomfortable. It really wanted him to Stop."

"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None... They just sit in the dark and bitch about it."

"I was having a piss in a war zone. Probably wasn't the best time for one of my fellow soldiers to yell, ""Cover me!"""

"""Hey, How was your Blind date?"" ""Terrible! He showed up in a 1932 Rolls Royce!""......""What's so terrible about that?"".....""He was the original owner!!!"""

"How do you make a baby drink? You stick it in a blender."

"I helped a little old lady at the market today.. She was too short to grab a box of cereal from the top shelf, so I stood on her shoulders!"

"I dont always roll a joint... But when I do its my ankle."

"Two guys walk into a bar... the third one ducks."

"Stand in a crowd, put your finger to your ear secret agent style, say out loud ""target is in site!"", see who panics."

"My exes new girlfriend has been calling me looking for him for days. It got old. I gave in and sent her the map and shovel."