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Joke of the Day

"I ain't sayin she a gold digger, but she did move to California in 1849."

"A baby mosquito had just returned after his first flight. Daddy mosquito asked, ""So, son, how did it feel?"" The baby mosquito replied, ""Wow, Dad, it was wonderful. Everyone was clapping for me!"""

"What did the german with food allergies say? Gluten Nacht"

"Caller: Is Mr. Rock available? Me: Yeah, hold on. *hands phone to 5yo* Me: It's grandma, buddy. Tell her about Caillou."

"Beaver 1: our house has been flooded... Beaver 2: dam"

"There are two major differences between beer and women. When you take the top off a beer, it can't change its' mind, and it can easily be bought and replaced."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar Then a chair, then a table."

"Kids here's a tip. Next Christmas leave Santa marijuana cookies and watch how happy your parents magically become the next morning"

"I can't tell if I'm going bald... or if it's all in my head."

"Only 1 in 6 Americans can find Ukraine on a map... Putin is fixing the issue by just calling it all ""Russia""."