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Joke of the Day

"If someone doesn't text u back it's certainly bc whatever u texted them was so stupid that it destroyed whatever relationship u may have had"

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"Top Gear was twelve years old... That's one of the oldest things that the BBC staff have fucked."
"I love that new song where that clever black fellow does a sort of ""rhythm-talking"" & uses such fantastic rhymes!"
"What did the lonely ghost do at 2 in the morning? He made a booo-ty call"
"What's got 40 balls and fucks ducks? A 12 Gauge Shotgun"
"I stole a seat from an old man and he remarked, ""Chivalry is Dead"". I said, ""I'm sorry, I didn't know. He wasn't even trending on Twitter""."
"How do you tell your spouse you were fired from SpaghettiOs for honoring Pearl Harbor Day with a smiling cartoon noodle holding a flag?"
"A younger chimp asks one of his elders what's a conditioned reflex. The older chimp says: ""When I press this red button an idiot in a white coat will open that door and bring us some bananas."""
"Is the volcano mean or nice? He was mean because he interrupts. (Courtesy of a family member - Benjamin)"
"How many militant feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick."