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Joke of the Day
"Just got out of a 13 month coma Just in time to see my child born!"
Next Joke
"At the end of the day, it's 11:59pm."
"I like my Presidents like I like my porn saved"
"[driving] Goddamn pedestrians [walking] Goddamn drivers [both] Goddamn cyclists"
"I like my women like I like my ice cream, Rich, creamy, and in my freezer."
"What's the real reason why SJWs hate guns? They don't come with trigger warnings."
"Why do zombies all have such shitty clothes?! It's like you JUST died, how did you mess up your shirt that bad"
"What do you call it when a Mexican digs their feet under the sand? Bury-toes. Hah hah"
"What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? The slow swimmer"
"Twitter gives me this paranoid feeling that I am being followed."