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Joke of the Day
"[driving] Goddamn pedestrians [walking] Goddamn drivers [both] Goddamn cyclists"
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"People always say ""Wow, your baby looks so much like you,"" as though it's supposed to defy genetics & look exactly like a coffee mug."
"A CHICKEN AND AN EGG A chicken and an egg walked into a hotel room. 20 minutes later the chicken came out smoking a cigarette and said, ""Well, I guess that solves that question."""
"3 guys walk into a bar you would think one of them would have seen it."
"60% of African American girls agree to giving me a blowjob I guess you could call it a 3/5's compromise"
"How do you know when your gf is getting fat? When she fits into your wifes clothes"
"Did you hear the joke about ebola? Never mind, you won't get it."
"Every night Owen Wilson secretly prays tomorrow will be the day his son breaks his nose for the first time."
"What does my cat and Donald Trump have in common? Neither of them pay taxes"
"You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that can't be divided by two."