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Joke of the Day

"""Check out Zach Galifinapkins over here!"" - joke I have prepared if I ever see a bearded man holding a lot of napkins."

"Since we're doing jokes we made up as kids, here's mine: What did the World Chess Champion ask Michael Jackson? Do you want to be black, or white?"

"When you talk to ghosts, they always tell the truth. When you speak with them, they're really transparent."

"There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time."

"I just swept a girl off her feet. I'm quite an aggressive janitor."

"hey baby did you fall from heaven because YOU'RE LUCIFER AND MUST BE DESTROYED"

"""What if we make headphones that stay in people's ears?"" ""Good idea Bob!"" [aside] ""Kill him and his whole family."" -Apple meeting"

"Every time I notice some loser has deleted me for being totally awesome, I wish that the small Asian from ""The Hangover"" would pop up on their screen and scream, ""Tooood-a-loooo muthaf$ckaaaaasss!"""

"Q: What do you call an 800 pound gorilla? A: Anything he wants to be called."

"What do a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets"