38382

Joke of the Day

"""What if we make headphones that stay in people's ears?"" ""Good idea Bob!"" [aside] ""Kill him and his whole family."" -Apple meeting"

"How can you tell if a girl is too young for you? You need to make the airplane sound to put your cock in her mouth. (From one of my favorite stand-ups, Jimmy Carr!)"

"Tried to catch fog yesterday Mist"

"Who cooks in a lesbian relationship? None they both eat out."

"Have you tried complaining about it for hours?"

"Why do they refer to network ports as female? Because when they stop talking to you, you never know why."

"We should move to a herb based fuel economy We can finally make the trains run on thyme."

"GF asked me last night ""Do you even know why I like cherry coke??"" ""...because it's so delicious."""

"Nice try weed people... Are we just supposed to legalize anything that comes from the ground? What's next potatoes?"

"How do you organize a party in outer space? You planet."