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Joke of the Day
"hey baby did you fall from heaven because YOU'RE LUCIFER AND MUST BE DESTROYED"
Next Joke
"What do you get with breaking news? Newscasts"
"[first date] Her: I just love eating clean and staying healthy, you know? Me:*flashback to the time I cry-ate two lasagnas* Totally"
"A cheese factory just exploded... There was de-brie everywhere"
"I tried phone sex last night Safe to say, I would prefer if you didn't call me during working hours until it goes flat."
"I told you not to let those pigs In my office. Now look what's happened. They've eaten all the dates off my calendar!"
"How do Filipinos count money? One-a two-a three-a four-a another-a ..."
"People are often shocked when I tell them I'm single because I scream it at them while sliding open their shower curtain."
"I'm black, and I really hate it when my white friend doesn't answer my calls. I guess some old habits never die... White man always leavin' me hanging"
"My wife has this mood ring... It turns green when she's happy, blue when she's calm, and when she's angry it leaves a big red mark right on my forehead."