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Joke of the Day

"I'm Lactose Intolerant, which means I rarely find missing children."

"So, the KGB walks into a bar... ...and they start, uh... they... I, uh... I don't know. I didn't see *anything*; I swear!"

"Subway is releasing a new Jared inspired sandwich to promote healthy eating in the jail! It's called the Hot Dick Sandwich and only comes in 9 inches."

"How do trees encourage one another? They say ""I'm rooting for you"""

"currently standing in a crowded elevator by myself holding a plate with a waffle on it everyone looks confused clearly they don't know me"

"I know a mathematician who can't afford lunch. He can binomial."

"Why did the bike fall over? Because it was two tired."

"I've just had my first coffee. To be honest, it wasn't my cup of tea."

"Wait, so pooping on the entire rim of a toilet, closing the seat over it, and calling it a ""Devil's Oreo"" ISN'T a thing?"

"most people don't realize that chickpeas only get $0.79 for every $1 a manpea makes"