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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who was frozen to absolute zero? Don't worry he was OK."

"What do you call Bruno Mars? Michael Jackson the third."

"So proud watching my son fight invisible monsters in the outfield while the ball rolls right past him."

"The Martian, 2015: Matt Damon tries to prove how Irish he is by growing potatoes on Mars then leaving because he's hungry."

"What sort of tape measure does the guy from The Guinness Book of Records use to measure the worlds longest tape measure?"

"When my new neighbor dies, I'm going to hire the same tree removal service he has outside my window right now to work during his burial."

"why did the spy cross the road because he never really was on your side hold your applause."

"What do you call an angry psychiatrist? Therapissed."

"""I remember one time I brought my report card home and said 'Hey Dad, I got a B in Reading!"" He just said ""That's a D, you idiot."""

"I refuse to jump on the I hate Mondays' bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally"