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Joke of the Day

"The trampoline used to be called a jumpoline until your mum jumped on it"

"I hate people who... I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but you have to get them in there first."

"You should feel pretty honoured if I subtweet you. But the tweet you think is about you, probably isn't. Twitter's hard. Get a helmet."

"I saw a black guy running down the street carrying a tv I thought for a second, ""man that looks a lot like mine' so I ran home quick and nope there was mine still shining my shoes."

"2 Mexicans and a white man are in a car, who's driving? The police officer"

"You know, once I entered a pun contest, I gave in 10 puns hoping one would win Unfortunately, no pun in ten did"

"A Math Quip You couldn't tell an asymptote from a hole in the graph"

"What's the perfect line of work for a lizard? Re-tail."

"What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!"