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Joke of the Day

"I saw a black guy running down the street carrying a tv I thought for a second, ""man that looks a lot like mine' so I ran home quick and nope there was mine still shining my shoes."

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"A pizza shop owner was found dead covered in pepporoni, mushrooms, ham and pineapple. Word is...he topped himself."
"What does the narcissistic cow say? ""Meeeeee!"" I wrote this. I'm now a comedy writer. You are welcome."
"Whats a joke so bad its funny? I just want some really hillarious jokes, preferably long ones"
"Why do all polish names end in ski? Because they can't spell toboggan (This joke brought to you by a 90 yr old polish man I take care of at a nursing home)"
"What do you call a brony in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile"
"son: why is my name jesus dad: mom wanted to name u after a rolemodel other son: &me? dad: well Charizard the same reason but it was my turn"
"What is a soccer player's favorite drink? Sham-pain."
"There is a fine line between the numerator and the denominator Only a fraction of people will get this."
"How do Muslims like their food served? Allah Carte"