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Joke of the Day

"You know, once I entered a pun contest, I gave in 10 puns hoping one would win Unfortunately, no pun in ten did"

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"What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe? Mitosis"
"<<BREAKING NEWS>> Apple has decided to cancel the children's iPod. Apparently iTouch kids isn't a good product name."
"Sad Dick A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."
"Someone on Facebook posted ""Having the BEST DAY EVER!!"" So I posted the Sarah Mclachlan animal cruelty video in the comments"
"Overheard a teenager watching Armageddon for the 1st time (after Bruce Willis blows up): ""lol at least the hot one lived (Ben Affleck)."""
"I used to be a fan of reading Tolkien But then I kicked the hobbit"
"Guys, can we please stop making jokes about Donald Trump? Otherwise, we'll all have hell toupee."
"Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life...... unless it gets in his way."
"Someone please invent a service to grocery shop for you but also cook it into a meal and also the meal is pizza oh it's pizza delivery"