208162

Joke of the Day

"My dad just gave me a toilet plunger as a house warming gift. Dads, they're always helpin you with shit "

"Boss ""I'm looking for a volunteer."" Me *chops off own legs ""I can't!"" Co-worker ""I'm busy, sorry."" Me ""damn, that's a better excuse."""

"I just wrote down my best joke ever my best joke ever"

"I hope I never have to produce an alibi...cause eating salsa in bed with my cat every night would never hold up in court."

"I lost multiple times in Bridge Tourney today I'm muslim and I kept playing NT"

"On an analog clock, 6:30 is the best time of day... Hands down"

"How did the Chihuahua disappear on the road? It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. The hard part is getting them into the light bulb."

"What do you call a disputatious horse? A naahh sayer. Credit:14 yr old me."

"1. The truth will set you free. 2. The truth hurts. 3. Being set free hurts."