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Joke of the Day

"Where do Peek-a-boo patients go? The ICU."

"My sister said I'm being immature. I guess she isn't getting her nose back"

"I was gonna take a selfie, but I just checked the mirror and I still have the same face."

"I saw a girl texting and driving earlier today and it really pissed me off... So I rolled my window down and threw my beer at her."

"It's hard to stop being depressed Because gravity is always bringing me down."

"What happened when Bluto went to Mount Olive? Popeye got pissed"

"Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks ""How do you drive this thing?"""

"What do you call an Irish-Canadian? a Mickey Moose"

"TIL that I was born exactly 9 months after my Dad's 32nd birthday... and my mom gives awful birthday gifts."

"How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to change the light bulb, and the other to hold the peni-- I MEAN LADDER"