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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish boy asked his father... for fifty dollars for a pair of sneakers. His father replied ""Forty dollars?! What do you need thirty dollars for?!"""

"I got sent out of class today at school. The teacher yelled at me, ""What would your parents say if I called them?' I replied, ""Hello?"""

"I'm not racist because... I'm not a racist because racism is a crime, And crime is for blacks."

"I'm 100 years old and I keep misplacing my old toys I'm losing my marbles!"

"For Christmas last year I got a sweater. This year I'd prefer a moaner or a squirter."

"Why did the Catholic cross herself?"

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!"

"What was the best use of the phrase ""That's what she said"" you've ever heard in person?"

"Bad news A doctor says to his patient: 'I'm afraid I've got bad news for you. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's disease'. The patient responds: 'Well, at least I don't have cancer'."

"Help! My husband's too controlling! Edit: No he's not, he's a really nice guy"