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Joke of the Day
"What was the best use of the phrase ""That's what she said"" you've ever heard in person?"
Next Joke
"If you're afraid of public speaking, just imagine everyone in the audience is on their phones not listening to you anyway."
"What do men and hardwood flooring have in common? Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!"
"What percentage of Scottish people are twats? 55.3%"
"""Oh man, that thing looks irritated"" - me, pulling into the airport parking lot and seeing my mother-in-law waiting on the curb"
"What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a bucket of cement ? Permanent waves !"
"What do you call a country full of people who throw garbage on the street, while repeating consonant sounds? A litter nation."
"That awkward moment when someone isn't texting you back and then you see them update their status from mobile."
"I just don't understand how to properly put together a play on words I think I'm just going to throw away my script for *The Dictionary in the Attic: An Anne Frank story*"
"When it comes to telling a joke, opportunity Knock Knocks. #jokes"