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Joke of the Day
"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!"
Next Joke
"I was going to sign this permission slip to let my daughter watch The Grinch at school but I haven't heard back from North Korea yet."
"Snack mixes are great because I only want to enjoy 40 percent of what I eat."
"Forgive me, for I have sinned. Same time tomorrow?"
"My kleptomania is getting worse I should definitely take something."
"When I die I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not like his terrified passengers."
"*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*"
"The leading cause of death in 1926 was being hit by a spinning newspaper graphic"
"If you can read this please let me know because it means I blocked the wrong person."
"What gets wetter the more you dry? A woman on a tumble dryer! (Bet you thought I was gonna say 'a towel', didn't you, silly redditors?)"