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Joke of the Day

"A chicken crosses the road... ..and meets 007 on the other side. ""What's your name?"" Asks the chicken. ""Bond, James Bond,"" Says 007. ""And how about you?"" ""Ken,"" Says the chicken. ""Chic Ken."""

"What do you call a nursing home with a buffet? A Golden Corral."

"Marriage is the only legal way to trade cash for sex."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped his arse."

"I have the heart of a lion.. ..and a lifetime ban from the Toronto Zoo"

"What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)? Cold turkey."

"The best gifts in life will never be found under a Christmas tree! Those gifts are friends, family, kids and the one you love!!"

"just so you know the guacamole costs an extra $1.80 plus one of your arms and the soul of your first born child thanks for choosing chipotle"

"Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because they can't fit in d-shells. Edit: re wording"

"A Malaysian man buys a new phone... He puts it on airplane mode. Now he cant seem to find it anywhere."