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Joke of the Day

"Marriage is the only legal way to trade cash for sex."

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"What do you call a Middle Eastern moving company? Pack-it-stan"
"Q: Why did the banana put on sun-tan lotion? A: To keep from peeling."
"If you read the entire dictionary technically you've read every book but out of order."
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"Been told I'm a pretty awful human being. I stopped listening after he said I was pretty."
"Drove past a Graveyard today... How many people are dead in there? my father says... i go unno? He says "" All of em"" dadjoked. It was 1998."
"Birthdays are good for your health Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer."
"My wife says it's time I stop pretending to be The Karate Kid. I had to put my foot down."
"In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters."