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Joke of the Day

"I'd complain about the bathroom smelling like pine, but I'm sure it's better than whatever smell the pine is covering up."

"(calling) 'Hey Boss, what's the difference between work and your daughter?' 'I'm not coming into work today'"

"What did Mr. T say when he saw a fat lady at the bar? I don't hate this bar, but I pity the stool."

"Using rulers for target practice has really set me back in life. I'm tired of shooting myself in the foot."

"There was one good thing still to be said about the politician who went to prison for stalking... He was a man of the peep-hole!"

"What are two doctors with colds An ironic Paradox."

"I used to be addicted to soap But I'm clean now"

"There's only one thing I love more than bacon ...and I can't put pussy in my mashed potatoes."

"I was just at a cell phone convention and stopped at the Virgin Mobile booth. It was just a bunch of nuns in wheelchairs."

"advice to my younger self: dont bang that old man on his helicopter he's not joe biden"