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Joke of the Day

"A poop joke. How did the coprophilic marine respond when asked what the most important thing in life was? Duty. Honor."

"I just saw some pictures of Ray Rice's wife for the first time... she's a real knock out."

"""Why are all the good ones either married, gay or the Son of God?"" - Mary Magdalene."

"I got really excited when she talked about a motorboat date, but as it turns out, she just wanted to take a ride on the lake. *sigh*"

"What do fish smoke? Seaweed"

"I named my dick ""the fear of god"" now when my parents ask what im doing with my girlfriend i tell them im putting the fear of god in her"

"Concerning the absence of toilet paper, there should be complaint books laid out at publicly used places."

"If I ever wake up on Christmas Day and there's a Mercedes outside with a giant ribbon on it, I'm gonna assume it has an ignition bomb"

"I use to worry I was a nihilist... but then I realized I don't care."

"I can't believe that those two are still together after all that shit..."