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Joke of the Day
"Why does Paris have tree lined streets? Because the German army likes to march in the shade."
Next Joke
"Riley can be a little girl's name, it's not always a dog's name. If someone says Riley's been sick don't bring up euthanasia right away."
"Painters wear all white while they paint like they don't give a fuck."
"I really like being a trophy husband. I just wish I wasn't a participation trophy."
"I'm going to get a 100 dollar bill tattooed on my dick. I mean, what woman wouldn't blow a hundred dollars?"
"Finally loses virginity. 3 more years left in prison."
"Doctor: it's important to incorporate purple foods into your diet. Me: *eats purple cupcakes*"
"Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to ""Brandi from the club"" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM"
"Several years ago, the military upgraded the AR-15 to an AR-18, but quickly abondoned the new weapon. When asked about what happened to the new guns, a general replied, "" They Argon."""
"What's green and lays in a ditch while covered in cookie crumbs? The Girl Scout that got hit by a car."