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Joke of the Day

"Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to ""Brandi from the club"" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM"

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint"

"""You are gonna hate yourself in the morning if you stay up late"" Jokes on you I am gonna hate myself in the morning no matter what."

"My greatest fear is that I'll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh"

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks today."

"Your mama's so fat she faces an increased risk of heart disease and type II diabetes."

"What is love? Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. And me, I call it you."

"My gf said ""tie me up and do what you want"" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar"

"I like jokes about Ethiopians They never get old."

"Im making a heavy metal band... Im thinking of naming it Lead-arsenic-mercury."