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Joke of the Day

"My vision is okish But in just a few years I'll be able to see 2020"

"Me: We need to go. 11: Go without me. 7: Sometimes when parents go without their kids, they get arrested, and I can't let that happen."

"*at funeral* ME: I know how you feel FRIEND: Dont bring up the time you only got yel-- ME: One time I only got yellows in my Starburst pack"

"What does batman take in his beverages? just...ice."

"Why doesn't North Korea's population exponentially grow? Because they must build additional pylons."

"What do you call a person who kills babies and gets paid for it? An abortion doctor."

"Monica Lewinsky is going to vote for Bernie The last time a Clinton was in office it left a bad taste in her mouth."

"Every girl loves when a boy whispers those three special words in her ear. ""Let's go fishin'."" Merica."

"Asked a librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog & Schrodinger's cat. She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not."

"Lethal tasers can be a real buzzkill."