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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an attractive primate corpse in Saudi Arabia? Haram bae"
Next Joke
"So the other day, my friend told me that I have no idea what irony meant... Which was pretty ironic, considering we were at a bus stop."
"What's a vampire cows worst fear? Steaks."
"How many sycophants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? How many do you want?"
"If it wasn't for the random passerby with the horrific deformity, I wouldn't know nearly as much about what the top of my shoes looked like."
"A tombstone that has a scrolling LED marquee of your greatest tweets."
"My asian girlfriend made me mad so I replied in text message with.. -_-"
"Told my doctor I had a headache. He gave me 2 hollowpoint ""pills"" and a 9mm ""delivery system"" Damn Obama Care."
"I introduced my girlfriend to the family Me: hello everyone, meet Jasmine Jasmine: Hi Wife: what the fuck"
"None of my Barbies are speaking to each other because Ken got Skipper pregnant again. You can imagine the tension in my house tonight."