29245

Joke of the Day

"If it wasn't for the random passerby with the horrific deformity, I wouldn't know nearly as much about what the top of my shoes looked like."

"Tried to slide a cup towards me across the table. The cup fell over instead. I blame friction."

"Why does Donald Trump have a foreign wife? Because some jobs American's just won't do."

"What's the difference between me and Jimmy Kimmel? I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing."

"What did Hitler do to people who didn't like his facial hair? He sent them to Stauschwitz."

"Can I get a football meatlong? With please, cheese."

"What is a terrorists favorite snack? An Allah Ak-bar"

"What is a professors favourite snack? Academia Nuts."

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""

"I remember watching this excellent porno back in 2002 so I tried to find it on the internet. In hindsight, typing ""14 year old porn"" into Google probably wasn't my smartest idea"