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Joke of the Day

"I'm not an expert on masturbation, but I hold my own."

"Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you'd put things away you'd know where to find them."

"I don't think I'd be as calm as Billy Joel was in that song if an old man was sitting next to me making love to his tonic and gin."

"I accidentally pushed 2 for Spanish and the operator spoke perfect, fluent English"

"WIFE: you're so overly dramatic ME: no i'm not [10 hired backup singers burst through the wall shouting ""no he's not""] dammit guys, not now"

"Two cats are swimming across a river One's name is ""one two three"", and the other's name is ""Un deux trois"". One two three made it across but Un deux trois cat sank"

"Ladies, if you don't want men looking at your cleavage then you shouldn't wear low cut shirts in an area I can see you with my binoculars."

"What are the inhabitants of Crete called? Cretins!"

"if you told a kid that their parents died or that their balloon flew away, you'd get the same reaction."

"What type of jokes don't work Dark jokes."