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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone says to me ""You look so familiar, where do I know you from?"" I say, ""Do you watch porn?"""

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"What do you call a happy husband? Broke."
"You guys heard of the movie ""Constipated""? Me neither... I guess it's never coming out."
"I just blew off some steam and it wouldn't even kiss me afterward."
"Go on vacation in Poland... ...your car is already there!"
"A neutron walks into a bar... and asks the bartender: ""How much does a glass of beer cost?"" The bartender replies: ""For you, no charge""."
"Son, always wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming ""But dad we're goldfish"" Oh yeah, I forgot ""Forgot what?"""
"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: They should be changed regularly Both for the same reason"
"If you can't find the source of a quote, attribute it to Kurt Vonnegut, Einstein, Dorothy Parker, or H. L. Mencken and move on."
"I don't know how I feel about masturbation anymore... On one hand, it's pretty good. On the other hand, it's a little awkward."
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