117580

Joke of the Day

"A neutron walks into a bar... and asks the bartender: ""How much does a glass of beer cost?"" The bartender replies: ""For you, no charge""."

"my favorite pickup line... ""Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?"""

"My girlfriend is a midget and I'm nuts over her"

"I have a joke about time travel But you got it the first time. (Best told two or three days after making the recently posted ""I have a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it."")"

"Going to the gym is such a great workout. I never actually enter the building, but the walk there is nice. Sometimes I even walk back."

"Babies are the two extremes on the spectrum of smell. They either smell like heaven filled with lollipops or a microwaved porta-potty."

"I went to a fortune teller and he told me a lot of money was coming my way. I walked out really excited, then I got hit by a Securicor van."

"All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh... But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme."

"What are the fattest letters? O.B.C.D"

"My dog and I have a system together. We both eat, then we walk... Then we both shit in my neighbors lawn."