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Joke of the Day

"I don't know how I feel about masturbation anymore... On one hand, it's pretty good. On the other hand, it's a little awkward."

"I got pulled over for running a stop sign. The cop says, ""Didn't you see the stop sign?"" Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."

"Going to war is the only way Americans can learn geography."

"What did the Klondike Bar say to Jesus? What would you do."

"Want did the Alzheimer say to the shoe?"

"What do you call it when you soak a thumbdrive in vodka and shove it up your keister... an upload."

"I keep photos of my wife and children in my wallet. They sit in the pockets where my money used to be."

"What do Asgardians use to keep food hot? A Thormos."

"Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet? Because it had too many threads."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beef ! Beef who ? Beef fair now !"