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Joke of the Day

"*takes off pants* *crawls into bed* Security Guard- Lady, this is Macy's *crawls out of bed* *puts on pants* SG- Those aren't your pants"

"Do you want to here a joke about TCP Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it?"

"""My wife and I decided we don't want to have kids."" ""But...don't you already have 2?"" ""Yeah."""

"How does the universe throw a party? They planet."

"What do you call a disabled Lego? An O."

"A woman was battered over breakfast ...it was waffle :("

"What do you call a singer gently swaying from one side to another? A rocking Cher."

"Why should one masturbate while calling Comcast customer support? Because getting fucked in the asshole when you are not horny feels awful"

"if ur in a bad mood & somone says ""have a good day"" the best response is to yell ""HEY EVRYONE THIS DUDES HANDING OUT GOOD DAYS COME GET ONE"""

"My girlfriend used to do flashy shows on a chair for me. It was electrical."