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Joke of the Day

"I point my gun at the bank teller and order him to fill my bag with cash but he struggles because the bag is already full of tacos."

"Wondering why ""cuck"" has become the new insult of choice among basement dwellers and neck beards? They finally found an insult that can never be used against them."

"A man walks into a bar and orders a Manhattan. The drink comes and he sees a piece of parsley floating in the glass. ""What in the world is this?"" The bartender says, ""Central Park."""

"*driving my date to the ER* I told you my possum doesn't like direct eye contact. This one is on you."

"Why you cannot think of landing a job or business without internet? No connection"

"The new jumper I bought kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back and they exchanged it for another one free of charge."

"I like Viagra so much... I literally have a hard on for it."

"What's black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard."

"The scariest thing about the Cold War was the threat of getting stuck inside a bunker with your spouse."

"My real mom put me up for adoption because the cat was allergic to me :("