93104

Joke of the Day

"i asked my girlfriend what she would do if i won the lottery She said: i would take half of it and run away Then i replied: ok i won 10 dollars here's 5 now get the fuck out"

"My upstairs landlord asked if screams were coming from my apt or if she was dreaming. Either way, one of us has a terrifying neighbor."

"A friend of mine wanted me to recommend a TV series that 'ends with a bang.' I told him he might like Cowboy Bebop."

"Went to the Indian bakery today and asked for some bread They said they had naan"

"How did the Frenchman get turned on? He French-kissed a power outlet"

"I quit drinking & people laughed at me. Now the iPhone 7 is here and I get to sell a clean & pure Liver. The joke is now on them."

"There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note ""Don't eat me"".Now there's an empty plate and a note ""Don't tell me what to do"""

"I tried to copy a philosophical pun but I kant"

"How is a Mexican like a cue ball? The harder you hit 'em, the more English you get out of them."

"Saw some Mennonites playing Baseball yesterday All I saw was a swing and Amish"