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Joke of the Day

"Got run over by a limo today Took fucking ages"

"If you think it's hilarious that George Bush is getting a library, wait till you hear he was our PRESIDENT for EIGHT YEARS."

"What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? Your funding revoked by the ethics board."

"What does Bill Cosby put in his garden? Rapeseeds."

"Why did the foreigner vote for Trump? He heard he would get to watch the inauguration on a plane"

"I tossed a quarter at my girlfriend... ""Ouch, that hit me in the head!"" I look back and reply, ""good, maybe that'll knock some cents into you"" I'll see myself out."

"One day I'll cure deafness... You hear me!"

"How can anyone focus on world peace when we can't even get everyone to use the same date format?"

"Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady? Because she would have to move into a smaller house."

"There are four things in the world I hate: 1. Racists 2. Mexicans 3. Irony 4. and lists"