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Joke of the Day

"Everything happens for a reason. But, sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and you make bad decisions."

"How does Carrot Top have sex? Gingerly. *(Source: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson)*"

"What's the most polite meal? Peas and franks."

"I USED VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO TODAY AND NOW I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING!"

"If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime what do freedom fighters fight?"

"They finally replaced the old clock It's about time."

"Our children are our future. Unless they invent a method for time travel, then they're also our past."

"Joke challenge What's the best mad scientist joke?"

"I wanted to go as the invisible man for Halloween this year. But my Girlfriend made me put my clothes back on."

"I'm not afraid of the Bermuda triangle or any triangle really. Even played at its most aggressive it's just not a threatening instrument."