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Joke of the Day
"If Twitter has taught me anything it's that the best career choice is divorce lawyer."
Next Joke
"I want to name my next pet Peeve."
"What do you call a wet bear? A drizzly bear."
"I bought my son a pet snake and the salesman said ""Be careful those snakes grow up to 20 feet"" I said ""Shut up...snakes don't grow feet!!!!"""
"I really hate when people only put one word in their submissions title"
"Choose your own adventure: S O F A T H E R E Y E S P O P Dad sees a soda? Moving a couch for dad? Obese girl with a vision problem?"
"If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don't be open."
"I used to have a fat joke with good taste but your mom ate it."
"Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Boris Johnson walk into a room...Oh God. This isn't even a joke anymore. Help"
"I suck my stomach in when ever I weigh myself!nnIt doesn't make me weigh less but at least I can see the numbers!"